


Razor sharp smile and icy blue eyes

by jane_dorne



Series: Lost and found again [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neil has a sister, F/F, F/M, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Neil has a sister, POV Neil Josten, POV Original Character, everything else is the same
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:47:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25878397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_dorne/pseuds/jane_dorne
Summary: Neil thought his sister had died years ago. So when he receives a call from his uncle Stuart, two day sbefore Christmas, informing him of Nathalie Victoria Wesninsky's whereabouts, saying he is surprised is an understatement. Of course he goes straight to her and offers her a place with the Foxes.Marion lives in France and the last thing she expects is to find her long lost brother on her doorstep with an offer she barely dares to believe. But she is tired of running and this is something she can't refuse.orNeil has a sister and the Foxes adopt her, because of course they do.
Relationships: Abby Winfield/David Wymack, Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Katelyn/Aaron Minyard, Kevin Day/Thea Muldani, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose
Series: Lost and found again [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887937
Comments: 12
Kudos: 114





	1. Alive

**Author's Note:**

> So here is the first chapter of my very first fic (honestly this probably terrible but whatever). I don't really know what to put inthe content warnings honestly, this is mostly gonna be soft Fox stuff but there probably be mentions of everyone's backstories so look out for that (nothing explicit though) and I'll be making a list of triggers before each chapter.  
> In this one : mentions of violence/blood and panic attacks  
> If I forget something don't hesitate to tell me and I'll change it.  
> Let it be known I don't know anything about trauma or panic attacks and this is just my best guess at picturing it from what I read in different books and other fics.  
> Also probably some of this will be urealistic and the characters a little OOC (I tried though). This a very self indulgent fic.  
> Anyways I hope you enjoy !

Neil woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. As he reached for it on his bedside table he idly wondered who could be calling him so early in the morning. He sighed heavily before picking up without looking at the caller ID, expecting one the Foxes to be calling about some trouble or other the freshmen had gotten themselves into. He had been getting a lot of those since the beginning of the year – he was vice-captain after all, but he had really hoped no one would bother him during Christmas break; apparently he had been wrong, although he couldn’t imagine what help he could be from Stuttgart where he was spending the holidays with Andrew’s lot and Nicky’s boyfriend, Erik.

“What is it this time? Did Jack get in trouble again?”

“Hello nephew, I’m afraid I don’t know who this Jack fellow is though” answered a man’s voice with a distinctive British accent.

“Uncle Stuart?” Neil said incredulously. At that Andrew sat up straight on the bed next to him and sent a questioning look his way. Neil wanted to ask why his uncle was calling him but couldn’t get the words out through the lump in his throat, he couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be good.

“Yes, I have some news I thought I should share with you.” The mobster paused for a few seconds but carried on when he realised he wasn’t getting an answer, “It’s about your sister.”

-

Neil couldn’t remember how to breathe through the ringing in his ears and the roaring in his head. All he could see, all he could think about, was his father’s men catching up to them in Milan. He was running, trying to lose them in the crowd, his mother and sister close on his heels; or maybe they hadn’t been. When he finally stopped running his mother was beside him, both of them trying to catch their breath but Victoria wasn’t with them. They had gone looking for her later that day, going to all the predetermined meeting places they had agreed upon for this exact purpose but she wasn’t at any of them. Nathaniel had wanted to wait for her. His mother hadn’t let him, saying she was either dead or would be soon.

‘ _Do you want to die too, Abram?’_ He couldn’t argue with that. So they left the country and never looked back. He had always hated her for it. He hadn’t cared if trying to rescue Victoria meant dying. She was his sister and he had failed her. He hated himself too. He still felt like he didn’t deserve to survive when he hadn’t even _tried_ to save his own sister.

Now he could see her dead, broken body in his head, he could see all his own scars on her skin except they weren’t scars yet. That was a familiar sight, one of the many nightmares that plagued him. But he wasn’t sleeping now.

He was faintly aware of someone calling his name but it wasn’t his name, was it? He was Alex, not-

“Neil!” Andrew’s voice cut through the bloody haze in his mind. “Your name is Neil Josten, #10, starting striker for the Palmetto State Foxes. Repeat.”

“My name is Neil Josten. #10. Starting striker for the Palmetto State Foxes.” He kept repeating this like a mantra, locking eyes with Andrew to ground himself, until his laboured breathing evened out. This was real, Andrew was real. His sister dead body was not.

“What happened?” Andrew asked once he considered Neil was calm enough to answer without having another panic attack.

“She’s alive, Drew. She’s _alive._ ”

-

Half an hour and another mental breakdown later Neil had told Andrew everything about the supposedly dead sister whose existence he had never mentioned to anyone. Except she wasn’t dead. Somehow she had survived on her own after getting separated from her family in Milan. How Stuart had come across that information was beyond Neil. Their mother had taught both of them how to stay hidden and survive on their own. She had taught them well. If Victoria didn’t want to be found she would stay a ghost. But then again Neil had failed spectacularly at that after all the terribly stupid decisions he had made last year. Not that he regretted any of them; those stupid decisions were what had allowed him to find the Foxes, his family, _Andrew_.

His sister had been away from Mary’s influence longer than he had; maybe she had gotten tired of running. Maybe she heard about Nathan’s death and figured there was no point in hiding anymore, she didn’t know anymore than he had why they were running. She didn’t know about the Moriyamas.

Even though Andrew had been furious about this huge secret Neil had kept from him he had quickly agreed to accompany Neil to Strasbourg, where she currently lived under the name of Marion Pichon according to the file Stuart had sent him via mail after their phone call was abruptly interrupted.

Since the French city was only a 2 hours drive away they decided to leave later in the morning, giving themselves some time to plan the trip. They would spend the day there and hopefully be back in Germany in the evening although they did make plans in case the whole thing took longer than expected and they had to spend the night, in which case they promised the others they would be back the following day.

There were a lot of questions, from Nicky and Kevin mostly, about why they were going on an impromptu trip to France and wouldn’t let them come along but they ignored them, Neil simply promising further explanation once they got back and regular updates on where they were and how they were doing.

It took some convincing but they eventually agreed to let them go. Neil was grateful for the fact Andrew’s family rarely questioned his decisions and trusted him enough to take care of himself and Neil.

Marion was closing up the book shop for lunch hour. She had finished her shift almost fifteen minutes ago now but they were still in the middle of Christmas rush so the shop was busy and it had taken a few minutes for her colleague to shoo the remaining customers out while she took care of the register. Thankfully there wasn’t too much for her to do since she would be back in two hours to reopen for the afternoon shift.

“Maxime? Can you lock the door after me please?” she asked her 17 year old co-worker.

Maxime was nice enough to work with and mostly left her alone, which she was grateful for. She usually did her best to not encourage conversation and he seemed to take the hint. Although maybe that had more to do with the fact he couldn’t talk to her without becoming a blushing mess after two sentences.

“Yeah, no problem! I’ll see you after lunch.” His voice was almost steady when he said that and Marion smiled in what could be considered fondness if she were anyone else. But Marion did not feel things such as _fondness_ towards anyone, let alone the son of the book shop’s owner. She certainly wasn’t stupid enough to allow herself any kind of unnecessary human contact, it was too dangerous. She was on the run after all, had been since she was 9 years old and their mother had grabbed her, her brother and 5 million dollar to get away from their murderer of a father.

Marion would be leaving soon anyways, she had been working at ‘ _Livres & Co_.’ for almost six months now and it was time to move on. She had already stayed too long as it was. She was getting sloppy, living at one place for longer stretches of time each year that passed. She told herself it was to save the little money she had left instead of blowing it on news identities every few months but really she was tired, just so _so_ tired of running. But she kept going because she didn’t know what else to do, because the alternative was dying at her father’s hands and she was not ready for that, not yet. Marion didn’t think she would last much longer though, no one had come looking for her in _years_ ; it was only a matter of time before the Butcher caught up to her.

Neil was standing in front of his sister’s apartment door, trying to muster the courage to knock. He wished Andrew were there. Of course he was the one that had told the goalkeeper to stay in the car and let him do this alone but right now he was considering texting him and asking him to come back. He wouldn’t do it though. He really did need to do this on his own, besides he doubted Victoria would react well to Andrew’s presence.

He counted to ten in every language he knew and softly rapped on the door. He didn’t hear anything on the other side but he had seen his sister go into the building so she had to be home. The door opened and he was violently pulled in and thrown against a wall, the breath knocked out of him.

“Abram ?!” the woman said, abashed, before taking a step back and putting the knife that had been resting against Neil’s throat only moments before back wherever it had come from.

“It’s Neil now actually” he answered with a tentative smile. She snorted.

“Right, _Neil._ You can call me Marion. Care to explain what the fuck you are doing here? Is mum with you? How are you even _alive_?”

“Right back at you, _Marion_. I thought you were dead. After Milan... We couldn’t find you. I wanted to go back for you but- Well. Mum didn’t let me, said if you weren’t already dead you would be soon.” Neil said through the lump in his throat.

“Well I survived. Obviously. I wondered what had happened to the two of you. Doesn’t answer my questions though. How typical of you to evade like this; some things never change, do they? How did you even find me?” her voice was steady but Neil could see she was barely keeping it together. Her hands were shaking where she was trying to hide them at her sides. He took some time to consider what he would say next before opening his mouth again.

“Let’s sit down shall we? I’ll tell you everything but this a rather long story and I’d rather not be standing here throughout all this.”

“Fine.”

An hour and a half later, Marion was still reeling. Her brother was alive. He was _here_. She kept expecting to suddenly wake up but she knew, in the back of her mind, that there was no way she could have imagined all this. He had a life, a _family_. He had all those things that seemed normal to other people but were a completely foreign concept to her. Sure she’s had her mother and brother but that was different. They hadn’t _chosen_ her, they’d had no other choice than to spend every minute of every day with her and even then, her mother had never exactly been nurturing. She was grateful for everything she’d done for them but the remembered blows made it hard not to resent her for it as well. Especially since she’d abandoned her for the sake of protecting Neil. Especially now that she knew this whole desperate race throughout two continents was for _her brother’s_ sake, not her own, not really. She occurred to her maybe she ought to be grateful that Mary hadn’t simply left her behind. She supposed the fact she hadn’t was proof of her love to her daughter, in her own twisted way. She wasn’t feeling particularly sad about her death if she was being honest with herself. After all, she had lost her mother long before Neil buried her charred bones on a beach in California.

And here he was, the brother she thought she had lost, safe, _happy,_ offering... what? A life? A chance at living instead of merely surviving? She wasn’t sure she could have that, she didn’t want to let herself _hope_ because once she started wanting this she knew she wouldn’t be able to walk away. But she already did want it, didn’t she? As soon as the words had left her brother’s mouth she had felt something rise and swell within her. She didn’t want to acknowledge it. Maybe if she ignored it, it would go away and she could resume living this half life of hers.

Which reminded her, she had to leave for work soon if she didn’t want to be late. She said as much to Neil who nodded hesitantly, obviously not knowing whether he should let her go and risk her running away. She herself wasn’t sure if she would do that. She wanted to. Or maybe she just wanted to want to?

“My shift ends at 4pm. You can stay here in the mean time if you want, or... I don’t know. I’ll give you my answer when I get back; I need some time to think about it. Maybe we should exchange phone numbers?”

-

Marion had been distracted all afternoon. Really she had a hard time even functioning, startling each time a client came into the shop. The fact her uncle had been able to track her down made her paranoid. She definitely couldn’t stay in Strasbourg any longer so the question was whether she should go with Neil, who she hadn’t heard of in years and was now playing Exy for the yakuza, or leave the country under a new identity. Of course now that her father was dead she wasn’t really in danger anymore; she could probably choose a place to stay permanently, but then Uncle Stuart would probably find her and she didn’t trust the man one bit. There had to be a good reason for her mother to refuse his help all those years while on the run.

She could no longer lie to herself, she wanted to go with Neil, be a part of his life and family but she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe in this. It felt like there had to be a catch and she couldn’t figure out what it was.

In the end she decided to compromise. She would spend the rest of his time in Europe with him and his teammates, those that were here at least, and decide afterwards whether she wanted to follow them back to South Carolina or take her chances on her own.

Once her decision was made she resigned from her job at the book shop and went back to her shitty apartment where Neil was waiting for her. She thought he looked way more happy and hopeful than he should about her decisions. He really was going to make walking away difficult for her, the idiot.


	2. Twin reflection pools the colour of oceans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marion meets the Monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back with a second chapter. I really like this one actually (it's not very good but whatever). I had actually planned a lot more stuff but in the end I cut it in two chapters because it was getting way too long and I have zero impulse control.  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> TW : panic attacks, child abuse (Mary and Nathan), mentions of violence. It's all mentionned in passing and is in not detailed but look out if these are delicate subjects for you.

Packing was a rather quick process considering everything Marion owned fit in a duffel bag and a backpack. This was an old habit she had never given up on despite how tempting it sometimes was to acquire new possessions. But Marion was nothing if not practical so she only bought what was absolutely necessary and could fit in her bags.

When she got around to the bathroom she stopped short in front of the mirror and after some consideration took off the green contacts she was wearing. It had been a long time since she’d taken the time to look at her real face in the mirror.

When Neil saw his reflection, he couldn’t help but see their father. To Marion the wavy auburn hair, dark skin and striking blue eyes were undeniably her brother’s. They might’ve come from the Butcher but the fire that burned beneath the ice was entirely theirs. She used to wish Neil could see it too. She thought maybe he did now since he wasn’t hiding his features anymore but she seriously doubted that. She knew him too well. It wasn’t too late though, probably the scars on his face would help him see _himself,_ time and fading memory helping.

When she was done she joined Neil in the living room and they left together, Marion stopping to turn in the keys to the landlord who lived on the floor below her own.

She was almost sad to leave Strasbourg, she had really enjoyed her time there and her job at _‘Livres & Co.’_ but she certainly wouldn’t miss the apartment. It was old and in dire need of a renovation. It wasn’t likely to get an upgrade anytime soon though; even the neighbourhood was bad. That had been the main selling argument for her; it meant people wouldn’t be asking questions and the owner wouldn’t run any kind of background check on her if he had any hope of filling the lofts. As long as she paid her rent in time he left her alone.

As they stepped outside of the building they were greeted by the smell of cigarette smoke coming from a short blond man leaning against a car nearby. Marion tensed, that man breathed danger and it took a considerable effort to school her features and not reach for her knives. She clutched the strap of her duffel bag tight to her chest, preparing to run at the smallest sign of danger. She could probably win a fight against the shorter man despite his muscles but not with of her bags in the way. And she would not abandon her belongings.

Neil must have picked up on that because he casually stepped between the two before speaking. He didn’t seem to view the man as a threat so she supposed he must be Andrew, which was confirmed shortly after.

“So, uhm. Andrew, Marion. Marion, Andrew.” He looked nervous. She wondered what he was so worried about; maybe he knew she was fighting her fight-or-flight reflex. She wouldn’t run though. Not even as Andrew casually put a finger under one of his black armbands and she was fairly certain he had some kind of knife in there. She’d also rather not fight one of Neil’s precious Foxes only seconds after meeting him. Besides, she owed that one a debt; he was part of the reason her brother was alive and here today.

“Aren’t you an athlete? Smoking is pretty unhealthy you know.” She said with a small smirk with the sole purpose of hiding just how much she was feeling.

The man just levelled her with a flat stare. She stepped closer, just out of arm’s reach, and held his gaze; if he thought he could intimidate her like this he was going to be sorely disappointed. She would _not_ cower under anyone’s gaze, certainly not some Exy playing midget. Even one with knives. She didn’t think he would hurt her anyways. He had nothing to gain from attacking her when she hadn’t done anything to anger him. Of course some people didn’t need reasons to hurt others but she trusted Neil would not choose such persons as his friends. So she held the man’s gaze and put every bit of determination she could muster in her eyes. She was silently saying _‘I’m not afraid of you.’_

Andrew’s stare was evaluating. This was a test. He wanted to see if she would break and run. She would not. _Could_ not. Marion had never been one to back down from a fight. This didn’t mean she didn’t know when running was the only way to survive but she had never liked it. She was a fighter. Not even her mother had been able to beat it out of her. Sure, she taught her to run but when cornered Marion lashed out. She’d rather go down swinging than with a bullet in her back.

This went on until Andrew’s cigarette burned down to the filter and he crushed it on the pavement before getting in the driver’s seat of the car. Even though he had broken out of their little staring contest first it had lasted too long for this to be anything but a tie. Marion was admittedly impressed; very few people could hold her stare for so long. The steel in her eyes tended to make them uncomfortable.

This was going to be an interesting week.

*****

Since they wouldn’t reach Stuttgart before rather late in the evening they decided to stop for dinner on the way. They ended up eating in a small restaurant at a gas station along the highway _‘La cuisine de Leo’_.

Andrew and Neil both ordered burgers and Marion settled for a goat cheese salad, not because it’s healthy but because she genuinely liked it, also she was too nervous to eat anything consistent. If the knowing look Neil sent her way was any indication, she wasn’t hiding it as well as she thought. He didn’t say anything tough, for which she was grateful.

“So, how many knives are you hiding under these armbands of yours exactly?” she directed at Andrew who coolly looked at her with the faintest hint of interest in his eyes.

“How do you know about the knives?” her brother asked, his head snapping in her direction; he looked positively bewildered. She felt rather smug about this. Marion ignored him and waited Andrew out.

“Two” the shorter man deadpanned.

She stored this for later. This was useful information if she ever had to fight against or with him. It was also reassuring that he only had two. She currently had four which meant she could afford to throw some without being put at a disadvantage.

That was the problem with knife throwing. It allowed you to attack from a distance but it also meant losing your blades. Which was precisely why she _always_ had several hidden on her person. That was also why she liked winter - more clothes meant more hiding places; that was totally worth suffering from the cold.

“What about you, brother? You guys are matching, does this mean you finally got over your fear of blades?” she teased. She was genuinely curious though. Her brother had always had a terrible fear of knives.

With good reason. Their father had liked to carve him up as punishment. He was called the Butcher for a reason. Marion had been spared such treatment for the sole reason you can’t marry away ‘damaged goods’ to mobsters. There had been plenty of beatings but nothing permanent. The fact Neil was able to let his guard down around Andrew was a small miracle. She hoped it meant there was a chance at healing for him. ~~And for herself.~~

“I only wear mine to hide my scars.”

 _‘Ah.’_ Marion wanted to ask about said scars but she knew her brother had always been uncomfortable with them and decided not to push it. She also wanted to ask about the nature of his relationship with Andrew but figured it would be safer to wait until she had him to herself. She didn’t think they were just friends but she couldn’t tell what exactly they were either.

Instead she changed the topic to something easier.

“How is the Exy season going for your team?” Neil seemed to perk up at that but Andrew gave an exasperated grunt.

“What? Don’t you like Exy?” she prompted, genuinely curious.

“No, I don’t. Don’t tell me you’re another Exy junky.” Marion was curious about the first statement, he played for a NCAA Class I team after all, but he said it so tonelessly she wasn’t sure whether he was joking. Not wanting to make a fool of herself she let it slide.

“Exy junky? Huh, that’s actually weirdly appropriate for Neil.” And it was true. Their mother had forbidden anything related to the sport but Neil still looked up websites and magazines about exy. Sometimes, when it was just the two of them in a motel room, they would put a game on the TV. They muted it for the sake of discretion and being able to hear anyone coming near but it would make Neil so happy Marion always thought it was worth the beating they would take if caught.

It was one small act of rebellion against Mary, against the people that tried to make them disappear off the face of the earth. A ray of sunshine amidst the dark clouds of fear that was slowly choking the life out of them. Day after day, year after year until death caught up to them.

“It’s literally the only thing about him that’s not a lie.” Andrew agreed.

And that too, was true. Neil and Marion had become liars, had become _lies_ out of necessity.

“That and his hatred for vegetables. I fear his taste buds are broken, he doesn’t even like _sugar_!” She replied, mock horrified.

“I know. He’s a lost cause.” The tone was blank but Marion thought she saw a hint of amusement spark.

“Hey! I’m right here!” Neil interrupted with a glare. Marion and Andrew ignored him, rolling their eyes and went back to their food.

The rest of the meal went on in easy silence; only interrupted by the waitress coming back to take their dessert orders and then bringing them over. (Andrew having ordered a chocolaty monstrosity – Marion didn’t share her brother’s distaste for sweets in the least but even she had limits – and Marion a much more sensible dessert while Neil had a fruit salad – that earned him a derisive snort from both of them, followed by a long suffering look of shared understanding.)

*****

Marion was relieved when the car finally stopped in front of a house in Stuttgart. The silence in the car had become tense in the last thirty minutes, mostly due to her and Neil’s nervousness. She was annoyed by that; he had no right to be nervous on her behalf. What did he have to be worried about anyway? Was he afraid she would make a bad impression on his new family? Or was it the other way around? It made her wonder if _she_ should be more worried; he was driving her crazy, the idiot.

The forced closeness of their years on the run had made them weirdly receptive to what the other was feeling and apparently weird twin-like connections were like riding a proverbial bicycle. They hadn’t been together for more than a few hours and were already soaking up feelings like fucking sponges.

Marion didn’t even know _why_ she was feeling this way. She had been in much more stressful situation, dammit. She could be calm and collected in a life-or-death kinda situation but _now_ her palms were sweaty and she couldn’t stop fidgeting?

What was the worst that could happen anyway? They wouldn’t like her, so what? She didn’t _care_ about their opinions.

 ~~Neil did.~~ No. It didn’t matter. _They_ did not matter. ~~~~

She snapped back to attention when the door on the driver’s side slammed shut. She hadn’t even realised it had been open in the first place. That was bad. She _always_ noticed things. She had to. She certainly couldn’t afford to be so distracted she didn’t register what was going on around her.

 ~~But she wasn’t in any danger now, was she?~~ Irrelevant.

She exchanged a glance with her brother _‘It’s going to be fine.’_ his eyes seemed to say before they both got out of the car.

They were greeted by a tall, dark skinned man with an exited look on his face. Marion immediately discarded him as harmless. For now at least.

“Andrew, Neil, you’re back! We’ve been worried! What were you even _doing_ all day? In _France_ , of all places!” He looked expectantly at the two men before he noticed Marion, standing behind them.

She was _not_ hiding. Simply she had been in the backseat of the car and so found herself _naturally_ behind the two. Either way, both Neil and Andrew were short and even though she was actually shorter than her brother – curse the Hatford genes; but still taller than the midget goalkeeper, _thank you very much_ \- they didn’t provide much coverage.

“Wha- Who is that?! Fuck, she looks just like Neil!!” His eyes kept going back and forth between the two siblings until he was shoved out of the way by another, annoyed looking, man.

That one she knew. They hadn’t seen each other in almost ten years but there was no mistaking the dark green eyes and cheekbone tattoo, even altered as it was.

“Hey, Kev. Long time no see.” Marion drawled.

“ _Nathalie_?!” Kevin Day stumbled back a step as recognition washed over his features, giving way in turn to shock and horror.

She couldn’t blame him, really. The last time they had been in the same room was at Evermore stadium, watching along with Riko Moriyama as a man was cut to pieces by Nathan Wesninsky. He was probably remembering that scene too.

The blood and gore and screams. She hadn’t even known what the man had done or why they were made to watch. She had never understood why Kevin and Riko, the sons of Exy, were there too. Never understood why they were able to witness Nathan cut a man to bloody ribbons and then go back to their lives under the spotlight like nothing ever happened.

It made much more sense now that she knew the whole truth of course.

“It’s Marion now, actually.” Her voice was much steadier than she felt. She was suddenly grateful for the life of lies that had taught her how to hide her motions perfectly behind a cruel smirk, a razor sharp smile that entirely the Butcher’s.

She hated it. She hated how it carved itself onto her face uninvited. She hated how useful it was. She hated that she _enjoyed_ the fear in Kevin’s eyes at the sight of it.

Of course she’d known Kevin would be there, Neil had told her about him, but she hadn’t been prepared, not really, not for the memories the sight of him triggered. Because Kevin Day’s fear was associated with screams and blood and the Butcher’s smile in her mind.

Memories of that smile flashed before her eyes. On her father’s face, blood speckled across his shirt and arms, strangers carved open on the table before him. In the some of them it was Abram, bleeding on the table. _His_ blood running on the concrete floor of the basement of their house in Baltimore.

She was vaguely aware of Neil giving explanation’s to the two men but it was hazel eyes and an apathetic voice that yanked her back in the present.

“Your father is dead. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Andrew was standing right in front of her, eyes locked with hers. No emotion was showing on his face, and that, more than his words, was what allowed her to come back from the edge of a panic attack. He was the eye of the storm, a rock in the raging see of her emotions and she latched on to his apathy to make her mind go still again.

She finally registered what he had said and forcibly reminded herself of it.

_My father is dead. The Butcher of Baltimore is dead. Nathan Wesninsky is dead. Neil is alive. Neil is **safe**._

She repeated this again and again until her ragged breathing evened out and she was fully aware of her surroundings again.

When she looked up again Andrew stepped aside. Kevin was nowhere to be seen and a tall blond man was standing where he had been minutes before. He was the one that spoke.

“I’m Erik. This is Nicky.” He pointed to the man that had opened the door. “What do you say we wait until the morning to finish this conversation, give everyone some time to relax?”

Nicky seemed about to argue but Andrew shoved past him, Neil in tow. Marion followed, if only because she didn’t know what else to do. She realised it was probably rude of her to ignore him but she couldn’t bring herself to care right now. She made a mental note to make up for it in the morning. She did, however, direct a grateful smile to the blond man – Erik.

The sleeping arrangements took some figuring out since there were only three bedrooms and seven people to fit. It was finally decided that Marion would be in a room with Neil and Andrew would sleep on the couch. She protested at that, saying she was the outsider and could very well sleep on the couch, thank you very much. ~~She wouldn’t be able to sleep in the open in a house full of strangers.~~

Apparently arguing with Andrew Minyard was a pointless endeavour because he ignored her and settled on the couch after retrieving pillows and blankets from one of the bedrooms. Not wanting to make more of a scene she reluctantly followed Neil upstairs.

If she was being completely honest with herself she craved the safety of her brother’s familiar weight on the mattress next to her but she was unused to people being able to read her so easily. She had no idea how Andrew had known she wouldn’t be able to let her guard down enough to rest in the living room. (She had no idea how he had known to remind her of her father’s death earlier either.)

Maybe Neil had told him they used to sleep plastered together in one bed with their mother and had deduced she would feel better that way.

But then, why would he do something _nice_ for her? Was it some kind of side effect of her relation with Neil? Or did he expect something in return? Maybe he thought gaining her trust like this could serve his own interests. Unable to get this out of her head she asked Neil because that seemed like the easier way to get answers.

“He doesn’t expect anything from you. If he did he would have told you so. Andrew isn’t in the business of asking people more than what they are willing to give.” Her brother answered with a reassuring smile before ruffling her hair. “Come on, let’s get you to bed. I think this was enough emotion for one day.”

This didn’t quite answer her questions but she was _exhausted_ so she complied.

*****

Marion woke up early the next morning (as she always did) after the best sleep she’d had in weeks. This was surprising. There had been no nightmares to make her wake screaming and that was a significant improvement. (Not that she usually had nightmares every night but the last few weeks had been stressful with the shop being crowded right before Christmas and her paranoia resurfacing.)

She got out of bed as discreetly as possible so as not to wake Neil, in which she succeeded.

She moved silently through the house to reach the kitchen where she was hoping to drink a cup of tea before everyone else woke up and she had to face their curious stares.

Tea was her comfort drink. Whenever their mother wanted to make them feel better she made tea. It was the most motherly thing Mary had ever done. Now, when Marion drank tea, she felt what she imagined most people thought of as a mother’s hug. The taste of tea was a reassuring one.

She did not expect to find Erik already up and going about making breakfast for the whole group. She tried to back up slowly and out of the kitchen but he spotted her before she could flee. She froze for only an instant before remembering he was not a threat. This situation did not require knives.

“Guten Morgen!” she said instead. The man smiled warmly at her.

“Sprichst du Deutsch?” _Do you speak German?_

“Yes, I’ve lived here and in Austria for a few years. My German is probably a little rusted but I manage.” She answered in the same language.

They discussed German Christmas traditions for a little while and Marion felt herself relax. This was easier than she had thought it would be. ~~Hopefully~~ she would be able to get along with the rest as well.

Neil joined in on the conversation a dozen minutes later and offered Marion to go on a run around the neighbourhood, which she quickly accepted.

In ten minutes they were ready and out the door. They set off at a slow pace, wanting to be able to talk.

Marion didn’t particularly enjoy running; she mostly did it to stay fit because it was easier than working out at the gym but right now she needed some time with her brother if she had any hope of mending their relationship. Besides she had a few questions for him.

“You and Andrew, huh? You somehow forgot to mention you fell in love in your recounting of last year’s events.” She mused, an amused smirk on her lips.

Neil stumbled to a stop, opening and closing his mouth in shock. ‘ _Bull’s eye.’_

“Wh- What?!” he finally managed to get out.

“Am I wrong? I can’t have completely misread this whole situation. You were sharing a bed for fuck’s sake!”

“But- I-“ he sputtered, face much redder than the run and cold morning air could excuse. “Who said anything about _love_?!”

“I saw the way you look at him. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.” It occurred to her that maybe he hadn’t said anything to her because he hadn’t admitted what he was feeling to himself. He _was_ known for being an oblivious moron.

She was going to say that, after all, she didn’t really know anything about love but when she turned to Neil he seemed lost in thought, probably turning her words over in his head to try and figure out whether she was right. She waited him out.

“Maybe” he started hesitantly, “maybe you’re not entirely wrong. This stays between us though, right?”

She felt a surge of _something_ rise in her chest and couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips.

“I never once betrayed your secrets, not even to mum. I’m sure as hell not going to start now. You can tell me anything; we made a pact, remember?”

They’d always been each other’s confident and had promised never to reveal their secrets under any circumstances. It was probably why the confession had come so easily to Neil who was such a private person. There was a trust between them that the years apart hadn’t managed to break. Burry it, maybe, but they were slowly dragging it back up to the surface.

They resumed running in silence, picking up the pace. It was a comfortable silence though, the kind that is as natural as breathing and means so much more than words ever can. That too, was an old habit coming back to them.

Marion was amazed at how _natural_ it felt to spend time with Neil. It was like they’d never been separated at all. Like pieces of a puzzle slotting back together. Like she had been lost all those years and now she was found again, not even feeling the transition from one state to the other.

*****

They got back to the sound of several people having breakfast in the kitchen and quickly took turns in the shower. Neil waited for her before heading back downstairs.

This time Marion was ready, she was well rested and their run drained any remaining anxiety out of her body. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to this but she could handle it properly.

They were greeted by the whole group waiting for them in the living room, spread out across various armchairs. They elected to sit on the couch, Neil next to Andrew and Marion on the red-head’s other side.

Neil made a more thorough run down of the situation than he had the day before and Marion made good use of that time to observe the men.

Kevin seemed very hangover; Marion guessed the news of her survival had taken a toll on the striker and he’d decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol. She was unimpressed to say the least. Drinking was a very unhealthy coping mechanism.

She’d never really understood the lure of alcohol. The burn of whisky in her throat meant pain and injury, it was a necessity, and not something you did for fun. How could losing control be _fun_? Of course to most people losing control didn’t mean risking slipping up and getting killed.

Nicky, who she had met the previous evening, was absolutely baffled and kept looking back and forth between the three people on the couch; seemingly wondering if this was some elaborate practical joke. She couldn’t blame him. She was well aware of how impossibly crazy this was; but then again, so was the rest of her life.

A short blond man who couldn’t be anyone but Aaron, Andrew’s twin, listened to Neil with a bored expression. Studying him more carefully she could tell him and the striker weren’t close. From what Neil had told her about the Foxes, his opinion didn’t matter all that much though.

She moved on to their host, Erik, and was comforted in her positive opinion of him. The man was listening attentively with a gentle expression that told her he would do his best to keep the peace as long as they were all here, without getting into everyone’s business either.

Andrew hardly seemed to be listening but she was certain he was standing at attention, monitoring his family’s reaction like she was doing herself.

Marion was intrigued by Andrew. There was something about him that spoke to her. A shared understanding of how fucked the world and the people in it were. She could see why her brother was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

When Neil finished, Nicky was the first to speak up.

“This is my fucking life story, discovering the people I care about have hidden siblings! Kevin, should I expect one from you too?” he said, laughing derisively “No but seriously, this is _crazy_!”

This was met with a collective eye roll. Marion took a deep breath before joining the conversation.

“You’re absolutely right, Nicky. Believe me; I’m aware of how ridiculous this sounds. It’s not crazier than the rest my and Neil’s lives though. We’re like one of those cheap drama/murder mystery novels no one even likes.”

Her attempt at humour was mostly unsuccessful at lightening the mood.

“Oh great, another Neil. Like one of him wasn’t enough.” This was from Aaron, sarcasm heavy in his voice. “Are you going to start another mob war for us to get in the middle of?”

“Mob war? The only ‘mobster’ any of you had to deal was Riko Moriyama and that was mostly Kevin’s fault.”

The taller striker looked stricken. ‘ _Good. He deserves it.’_

She was furious. Kevin hadn’t recognized Neil at first. But then he _had_ and he’s done _nothing._ Absolutely fucking nothing. He had let Neil face Riko Moriyama, he had let Neil got to _Evermore_ even though he _knew_ what would happen to Neil there. He’d just been too much of a fucking coward to _do_ anything. That was unforgivable. He hadn’t lifted a finger for Neil even though he’d risked his life repeatedly to protect _Kevin._

Her idiot brother didn’t even realise he should have. He thought this was normal. Oh, he _loved_ playing martyr when no one asked him to. That absolute _moron_ was convinced his life and well being were less important than everyone else’s. Marion disagreed. He was so fucking _sweet_ and he deserved the whole _fucking_ world. The fact that she was here right now was proof of this.

He had managed to carve a small bit of happiness for himself and there he was, on her doorstep, jeopardizing everything he’d built so _she_ could have it too.

“Don’t blame it on Kevin. I was the one that couldn’t shut up and got Seth-“ Neil’s voice caught but he forced himself to continue. “That got him killed.”

Here it was again. Taking the blame for something that _wasn’t his fucking fault_. She was going to point this out but Andrew beat her to it.

“Seth died because _Riko_ killed him. That is not your fault. The blood is on his hands and no one else’s.”

Marion was so very grateful Neil had Andrew to lean on. That someone was here to call him out on his martyr bullshit when necessary.

“Still, he wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t humiliated him on national TV. You said so yourself.” Apparently he wasn’t letting this go.

“Quit being the martyr no one asked for Neil.” Marion interrupted before the idiot could say anything else. Andrew shot her an appreciating look.

Neil glared at them both but didn’t argue further. It didn’t mean he agreed; only that he accepted he was not going to win this argument.

An awkward silence followed, no one quite knowing how to carry on after this.

“Well Marion, you’re welcome to join us for Christmas dinner this evening and stay as long as you wish.” Erik intervened with a warm smile. Nicky nodded fervently from his own armchair. Marion was starting to really, _really_ like this guy.

“Thank you.” The two red-heads answered in perfect synchrony, then looked at each other. Neil’s ridiculous look of surprise must have been mirrored on Marion’s own face because they both broke into laughter, quickly joined by Nicky and Erik.

The tension bled out of the room through their fit of laughter and the mood visibly lightened.

The conversation then drifted off to safer topics. Including, but not limited to, all the movies and TV-shows Marion and Neil missed during their childhood and a promise to Marion that if she stayed long enough they would remedy this tragic lack of general culture.

She quickly found that talking to Nicholas Hemmick was easy, if only because one did not have to say much of anything to converse with the man; he was apparently satisfied with the one sided conversations he led. Marion supposed that must have been a useful skill spending time with his two broody cousins.

*****

In the afternoon the eight of them went ice-skating on a little pond that had been converted for the winter, complete with a hot drinks stand.

This idea had been subjected by Nicky and the man had been so exited no one had had the heart to refuse. There _had_ been some grumbling though.

As soon as they reached the park Nicky and Erik put on their skates and proceeded to be adorably in love. They were currently a romantic comedy cliché, twirling around – rather elegantly, Marion had to admit - and holding hands on the ice.

Kevin tried to rope Neil and Andrew to practice exy footwork – yes, on ice – but was ignored with a simple “It’s Christmas Kevin, try to have fun for once” from the shorter striker. Marion tuned the conversation out until he stomped off very dramatically towards Aaron; electing to watch the other brave souls that dared the cold to enjoy gliding.

They looked so carefree Marion wanted to yell at them the world wasn’t all nice and fun. It was unfair really that some people got to stay blind to the horrors of men their whole lives.

Marion didn’t think she’d ever been that innocent. She’d learned to wield blades before she could even walk but even before that the atmosphere in the Baltimore mansion had always been too dark and ominous to leave any place to childish games.

Neil smiled from beside her in a way that told her he was thinking the same thing.

“Let’s see which one of us is faster” he said aloud, handing her a pair of skates.

She grinned back “I’m going to make you bite the dust!”

They set off laughing, taking as much speed as they could; expertly avoiding other skaters. It felt good. Better than she had felt in longer than she could remember.

Marion let herself forget everything else as she revelled in the speed and the feeling of wind rushing around her. This must be what flying felt like, she thought.

She looked over at Neil, their blue, _blue_ eyes meeting, the same emotion mirrored back at each other.

It was only a second but it was apparently enough for them to go barrelling down on an unsuspecting Kevin.

Slowing down was not an option so Marion swerved left while Neil went the other way.

Except Kevin was a moving target.

The two strikers collided and slid for a few meters before collapsing into a mess of limbs and curses in various languages.

Marion stood motionless, having safely stopped near them, not knowing how to react.

She burst out laughing and doubled over, tears in her eyes at the glare they shot her. She just couldn’t help herself. Their indignant expressions were absolutely fucking hilarious. She laughed until her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen and still, she could not stop. It went through her body in great waves of mirth, washing away all the remaining tension from the previous days.

It created a small vacation from her grim, crazy life. Brought forth all the joy she felt at finding her brother again. And she knew when it died down; the feeling of it would linger for a long time. She hoarded the sound, filed the feel of it in her throat away for a later, darker occasion.

She would remember this moment, the cold hair straining to fill her lungs, the joint laughter of Erik and Nicky somewhere behind her, the smirk playing on Andrew’s lips from the bank.

And the joyous, waterfall sound of Neil laughing like it was the first time. Like it was the last.

She thought she must sound something like that too but _this_ was what she wanted to remember. The utter joy of it. His entire face lighting up like he was the Sun itself, eyes shining like twin reflection pools the colour of the ocean.

It was its own kind of magic.

It took a while for everyone to regain their composure because every time they looked at one another they burst into another fit of laughter. Joy is contagious like that.

When they finally achieved some semblance of calm the two red-heads got off the ice to join Andrew since Neil was still sore from his fall and didn’t want to push it.

(This could be considered personal growth from Neil ‘I’m fine’ Josten but was most likely due to the fact that ice skating was not exy.)

They made a stop to get drinks first – it was fucking freezing at this time of year. Marion ordered the same hot chocolate with marshmallows and extra whipped cream she had seen Andrew sipping at earlier while Neil shot her a disgusted look and asked for black coffee. She rolled her eyes.

Her brother noticeably brightened as they got closer to the short blond and she smiled to herself. He was _so_ in love.

She considered leaving them alone but they were in a public space so they wouldn’t get any kind of privacy anyways. Instead she stood with them, sipping at her – fucking delicious – chocolate and watched the snow that had gently resumed falling around them.

It was such a peaceful and mesmerizing sight for something as simple as frozen water falling from the sky.

“It’s so weird the way water falls from the sky and people are only ever amazed when it’s frozen. It’s _water_ falling from the fucking _sky;_ it should _always_ be cause for wonder!” she said just as she realised it.

Neil chuckled from where he was standing on Andrew’s other side. Surprisingly, it was the blond who answered.

“People suck.”

“I suppose that’s true.” Marion smiled.

*****

Neil wanted Marion to stay. He wanted it so badly it ached. He had lost her once; he didn’t think he could do it again.

He wouldn’t force her to go with him; she deserved to make her own choices. Especially since they’d been taken away from her because of _him_. Mary had run to protect her son, dragging her daughter along.

Not that he believed Marion would have rather stayed in Baltimore. He knew she didn’t. But she hadn’t had any choice about what her life would be from the moment she was born until Milan.

Then she had been alone and able to choose _where_ and _how_ she hid. But not _whether_ she did.

He knew this wasn’t his fault but he still blamed himself.

Now she had a choice and whatever her decision may be, he would respect it. Even if it killed him to see her walk away.

But why would she choose to stay with _him_ when she could go anywhere, be anyone. He had failed her all those years ago, had left her to fend for herself while he went back to the states with their mother.

Even the safety he could offer now was just relative. The Moriyamas _owned_ him. Ichirou could change his mind and have him and his family killed at any moment. Marion had no reason to trust him.

This string of thoughts had been eating at him since the day he learned she was alive.

He looked at Andrew to steady himself. The shorter man raised a questioning eyebrow when he caught him staring.

“I’m afraid she’ll walk away and I’ll never see her again.” He said in Russian. “I want her to be happy and safe and I don’t know that I can offer that to her. I know it’s selfish but I don’t want her to leave.”

“You are allowed to want things.” Andrew answered in the same language. “Whether she gives it to you is up to her.”

Neil knew Andrew was right but he didn’t want to put this pressure on her.

“I don’t want her to stay because I asked her to. She has to choose this. She deserves to make her own choices and be selfish too. If I tell her I don’t want her to leave she might feel obligated to.”

“You made her the offer. She knows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was meant to be a fun, light chapter. I'm not sure how it turned out though.
> 
> Next chapter should be up before the end of the week. (Christmas with the Monsters)  
> Thank you so much to everyone that left kudos, they are greatly appreciated!


	3. Frohe Weihnachten, meine liebe Füsche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas with the Monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the third chapter.  
> It's way shorter than the previous one because fuck consistent writing.  
> Anyways I'm posting it today because it took really little time to write and edit despite my blatant lack of inspiration. I had planned some other stuff and a more light-hearted chapter as a whole but this is what came out and I'm just going to go with it.
> 
> Oh yes also I wanted to inform you all of a little chance. So I said in chapter one that Neil's sister's full name was Mary Victoria Wesninsky; I'm changing it to Nathalie Victoria Wesninsky. I originally wanted a female version of Nathan but my dumb ass couldn't figure it out and concluded it did not exist. So instead I went with Mary after her mother. Then it occured to me yesterday that Nathalie was what I had been looking for all along. So I'm changing it now, I'm sorry for any future confusion. (I'll be editing the text in the first chapter though)
> 
> No content warning in this one except some angst from Marion being dumb and chanelling her inner Neil/Andrew thinking she doesn't deserve stuff.

After they got back from their afternoon of ice skating the house went into a frenzy of get ready for dinner. While Kevin, Aaron and Neil were charged with setting up the table Nicky and Erik cooked the main dish and Andrew baked dessert. Marion assisted in both tasks by chopping everything that needed to be cut. Her cooking skills were limited at best but she did know her way around knives.

The small kitchen was a mess of people moving around each other in a complicated choreography. Marion was actually impressed no one sustained any injuries and the food even looked edible. It even _smelled_ delicious.

When she was done with her task she went back to the dining room to see if the boys need help. No one even noticed her when she came in; Neil and Kevin were fighting about something or other while Aaron waited with an exasperated expression on his face.

Obviously putting them in charge had been a mistake because the decorations were arranged in the most tasteless way possible. That was not surprising coming from Neil considering his horrid fashion sense – and he couldn’t even blame it on necessity anymore – but she’d thought the other two would balance it out.

“Oh my god, guys. What _is_ this? Have you all spontaneously gone blind? This arrangement is so random it looks like three year olds did it.” Everyone turned to scowl at her.

“What do you know about table arrangements anyway? This looks fine.” Neil protested, stubborn as ever.

“Oh yeah? Want me to call Nicky to be the tie breaker?”

“Please don’t.” That was from Kevin

“Then just follow my instructions and let me fix this mess.”

They complied, if only because they knew Nicky would never let them hear the end of it if it looked bad. The little shits thought if this all went awry they could blame it on her.

Marion gave out directions and helped put the various decorations in a way that actually looked presentable. With the four of them it didn’t take too long but Nicky still walked in before they were done.

“Uh.” He huffs “So bad taste _doesn’t_ run in the family. That’s a relief; Neil needs all the help he can get. I swear to fucking God have you _seen_ his clothes?! I don’t even want to know what this looked like before you swooped in and saved the day. This is why no one lets him buy clothes unsupervised!”

Marion chuckled at this. “I pity whoever has to help him pick out clothes! I can totally picture him trailing along and picking stuff up at random.”

“Guys. I’m right here.” Neil interrupted with a tired sigh – he was starting to get used to that particular line of conversation. “Why do you even care what I look like?”

“Oh.” Marion drawled “Poor Andrew.”

Nicky burst out laughing and Marion smirked, feeling pretty smug. She was really starting to be comfortable around these Foxes. They were all a bit to sharp around the edges but somehow fit perfectly together even if they didn’t necessarily like each other all that much – Neil and Aaron couldn’t stand each other and the only thing they could agree on was that Kevin was an asshole. There was a dynamic here made of years of living together and she was easing into their rhythm pretty quickly all things considered. Apparently socially inept people worked well together.

They all split up to get ready for dinner. It was a pretty laid back event so they didn’t wear anything fancy but they still dressed up for the occasion.

Someone – probably Andrew – must have helped Neil pack since Marion actually found a nice button up shirt that did the short striker justice and a pair of fitted pants as well. Once her brother looked presentable – he didn’t even put up that much of a fight when she informed him she would pick out his outfit for him – she set about finding clothes for herself.

She stopped on a simple black dress that was just versatile enough to work for this occasion. Most of her clothes were like that, nice looking enough she could dress up when need be but casual enough to be worn on normal days as well.

It didn’t leave any space to hide her blades though so she went without. If worse came to worse she could still grab one on the table or in the kitchen. She was sure she wouldn’t need to but at this point making up contingency plans was second nature.

They got downstairs just as the doorbell rang and Marion didn’t miss the appreciative once-over Andrew gave Neil, nor the blush on the red-head’s cheeks. She smiled, satisfied. Maybe this would help Neil understand the importance of fashion.

Erik comes back with his parents a few seconds later and Marion busies herself with retrieving the salad bowl Mrs. Klose is holding and putting it away in the kitchen while the couple pulled their son’s boyfriend into a hug. Marion remembered Nicky telling her the Kloses had housed him during his semester in Germany his senior year of high school. This was admittedly one of the cutest love story she’d ever heard, romance novels read during her time in Strasbourg notwithstanding.

After some polite chatter and introductions they all settled at the table and Neil and Kevin brought out the food – it definitely tasted as good as it smelled.

The conversation was mostly carried by the Klose family and Nicky in a mix of English and German and the others –except Andrew - chimed in every once in a while when it seemed appropriate.

Marion was not used to this kind of homey feeling but she thought it must be really nice to have a warm and loving family who you genuinely wanted to spend holidays with. ~~She wanted that too.~~ She had her brother of course but he had his own family now and she was left with nothing at all. Well, that wasn’t true; he’d offered her to be a part of his family. She didn’t like the way that made her feel; part of her wanted to pack her things and run as far away as possible, to forget she ever even had a brother. In moments like this, when happiness seemed within her reach it was most difficult to stay put. She felt like as soon as she let herself _want;_ it would all go away and she would be left bleeding and alone. Maybe if she cut her losses and ran it would hurt less.

Because surely she could not have this. Neil would come to his senses and tell her he didn’t want to see her ever again. The more he waited, the more it would hurt. Maybe he wouldn’t come to this realisation until she accepted his offer and the enormity of what he was doing would hit him. Maybe it wouldn’t come until after they reached South Carolina and she met the rest of the Foxes. _They_ would bring him to his senses.

And that would destroy Marion because once you let hope in, once the thing you craved was just within your reach, you inevitably broke when it was taken away from you. She’d think it was cruel of Neil to dangle it in front of her face only to rip it away from her the second she dared to grab for it if she didn’t know he was so very genuine. He was also an idiot.

Maybe he _wouldn’t_ rescind his offer. That was worse though. When the worse would inevitably come to pass he’d hate her for it. Disappointment she could handle – that was a feeling she was familiar with. But hate... Hate she didn’t think she could take. Not from the single person in the world she loved.

Those were her options; leave before she could be hurt, leave before Neil could be hurt, or stay and risk both those things when she least expected it and her guard was down.

But hope was a vicious thing that did not like to be smothered and so she couldn’t bring herself to do any of those things. ~~Even when every minute she stayed felt like giving in.~~

Marion was pulled out of her thoughts by the arrival of dessert – Andrew was way too good at baking, it made her suspicious; he did _not_ strike her as the type of person who baked regularly. Of course she’d _seen_ him make it but she hadn’t expected it to be this good. The man was full of surprises.

She probably wasn’t the only one to be stupefied since Mrs. Klose spoke up “Do you bake a lot then? This is really delicious!”

“Yes.” was his answer.

Marion was admittedly impressed by the woman because she didn’t even blink at this and bounced right off to a new topic.

After dinner they all went outside to sit and admire the Christmas decorations that illuminated the front of the house. The sight was beautiful. Neil sat next to her in silence, the twinkling lights reflecting in his hair and eyes. He looked like a dream just then. ~~Marion didn’t want to ever wake up.~~

*****

The next morning Marion had no desire whatsoever to get out of bed. For one it was cold in the room - she could tell from the air that brushed against her face - while it was really warm and cosy under the blankets. Secondly she was currently cuddled against her brother’s chest, his arm thrown over her waist – she had no idea how _that_ had happened; Marion was fairly certain she had not fallen asleep in this position – and didn’t want to wake him up. Obviously. It was _not_ because it made her nostalgic of their childhood bond. Not at all.

To her greatest annoyance she could not manage to go back to sleep. Finally giving in she tried to get out of bed without waking Neil but he was a very light sleeper so of course the second she started moving his eyes snapped open and his whole body tensed. Then he saw her and relaxed again.

“Good morning ‘Sunshine’.”

_That little shit._ How dare he use the childhood nickname he _knew_ she had always hated _just_ when she was feeling nostalgic? She would not let this slight go unanswered.

“Good morning ‘Tête de carotte’” That idiot had the gall to laugh.

“You have red hair too you know.”

Marion glared.

“Shut up”

And then he smiled that stupid fucking grin at her and all her annoyance melted away like snow in the sun. She felt a smile of her own tug at her lips and bit down on it before he could see – she had a reputation to uphold. From the way his smile widened further she knew he wasn’t fooled.

They eventually got up when Nicky started pounding on the bedroom doors with exited squeals of “It’s Christmas morning! Come open your gifts!” Followed by a series of grunts, curses and threats from the various sleepers.

Everyone _did_ comply and follow the older man to the living room in various states of awakeness.

Marion watched with distant interest as the little family exchanged gifts.

Nicky had bought ugly Christmas sweaters for everyone – except Marion, for which he apologized because he hadn’t known to get her something until it was too late.

Kevin hadn’t bothered to buy presents for anyone; they didn’t seem surprised and he didn’t receive any apart from Nicky’s and Neil’s.

Aaron had a gift for both Erik and Nicky and it must have been good ones because Nicky was literally glowing.

Andrew’s gifts were more ironic than anything and it was obvious Nicky hated his but he still excitedly thanked him. Aaron took one look at his and glared at his twin. Neil, however, was looking at Andrew as if he’d just hung the moon. That made Marion really curious as to what it was and she resolved to ask about it later.

Neil had a considerate gift for everyone – except Kevin who glowered at the sight of his. Marion was confused when he approached her with a wrapped package. She didn’t realise what it was until he dropped it in her lap.

“Merry Christmas little sister”

She looked at it with disbelief. Had he gotten her... a _gift_? For Christmas? This was so unexpected she went completely still with shock. She had no idea how to react. When had he even bought this? _Why?_

She started panicking when it occurred to her that she hadn’t gotten him anything. The idea hadn’t even crossed her mind. She looked up at Neil to find him chewing at his lower lip, nervous tension running through his body. She frowned in confusion before understanding dawned on her that he was worried about _her_ reaction to _his_ _gift_. Which was understandable since it had been in her lap for a full minute and she’d still made no move to open it.

Marion took a steadying breath before reaching for the package and ripping the wrapping paper open. Inside was a scarf. An orange scarf. A _fox scarf_.

She stared at the soft wool in her hands. The Foxes were Neil’s family; that was a fact. Neil had offered her a scarf in the shape of a fox; this too was a fact. There was only one possible meaning for this. Marion couldn’t wrap her brain around it. This was an offer. It was a plea. It was _‘stay’_ made out of wool.

She looked up at her brother. He looked back, his eyes searching. Marion was overwhelmed by the _hope_ she saw in his eyes, the open vulnerability of it. The words she wanted to say caught in her throat. All the objections and rejections and hurtful jabs turning in her head, all wanting to get out at the same time. Anything to crush the feeling rising within her, mirrored plainly in her brother’s icy blue eyes When she opened her mouth she didn’t know which would win. What came out surprised her as much as it did Neil. It was a choked, breathy syllable that forced its way out of her lungs

“ _Yes_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, see you again whenever chapter 4 is ready. (Might be a while because I have litteraly no idea what's going to happen but it'll probably be a long one)
> 
> Next time Marion meets the other Foxes. After that I have litteraly no plot so we'll see what happens.


	4. Honey gold and icy blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marion goes back to South Carolina with Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Kevin and Nicky.  
> She meets the rest of the Foxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : Mention of past abuse

The airport was buzzing around Marion while she waited with the Foxes before boarding their plane. Nicky off to one side, eyes still slightly wet from his heartbreaking farewells to his boyfriend. Neil and Andrew were standing slightly apart from the group as well, the shorter man looking tenser than usual. Marion wondered if it was being in an airport with so many strangers or the idea of flying that bothered him.

She was comfortable here; the sight of an unfamiliar airport was oddly comforting. Back when she was still on the run with Neil and her mother they’d gone through many airports, never once steeping into the same one twice. Now she took in her surroundings, looking up at the tree shaped pillars around her. She rather liked the effect; there was an odd beauty in those great metal structures, like they were ants in a giant forest.

The quick lives of people interweaving around her and not heeding her any attention was agreeable too, familiar, reassuring. Marion was reminded of a hundred different airports in a hundred different cities, spread across two continents and over a dozen countries.

She could hear bits and pieces of conversation, passing by too quickly to pick up on the words but enough to hear the sounds of various languages and accents. It was mostly German and English but she’d also heard some French and Spanish, and even what she thought was Finish.

The announcement was made in German, then English that it was time for them to board their plane. Marion ended up sitting between Aaron and Kevin which was less than ideal. It didn’t matter though because the thoughts spinning in her head were more than enough to keep herself occupied for the duration of the flight – and if they weren’t she’d brought a book.

She was going to South Carolina. Planning had been a tricky matter. First they’d had to call Stuart so he could work out something with the Moriyamas. Eventually it had been settled that the yakuza had no interest in her and that as long as she didn’t talk – to the FBI or otherwise – she was free to do as she wished. Marion had no illusions that the second she stepped out of line she would be eliminated and the Moriyamas would monitor her closely.

Fortunately she had no other intentions than going to college at Palmetto State University so she should be fine. For that purpose Neil had called his coach, David Wymack, who had _somehow_ managed to get her enrolled for the coming semester. She’d have to pay her studies from her own pocket but Stuart had offered to extend the money instead as an apology for not helping sooner. She’d made sure he wouldn’t ask anything of her in return before accepting – only for this semester though; she’d find another way for the next ones.

She’d decided to keep her fake French identity so she would be allowed on American soil without the FBI’s notice and she was sure if it raised any red flags the Moriyamas would take care of it – it was not in their interest to attract attention to her.

Once everything was settled Neil had informed the Foxes of the situation – without diving too much into detail over the phone. He’d told her they were dying to meet her. He’d also told her the upperclassmen were much easier to get along with than the Foxes she’d already met so she wasn’t too worried about that.

Well, ok. Maybe she _was_ a bit nervous. Especially since she’d be sharing a room with the three girls. Marion had no idea how _that_ had come to be – she wasn’t even an athlete! She was grateful to whoever had made it possible though. The idea of sharing a room with a stranger made her skin crawl; at least this way she wouldn’t have to hide and pretend all the time. Neil trusted them; that would have to be good enough.

Marion was pulled from her thoughts by Kevin who had noticed the book about the French revolution sitting unopened in her lap.

She was surprised to learn the striker was almost as passionate about history as he was about Exy and they took to talking about European 19th century history. She thought she saw Aaron roll his eyes on her left but ignored him.

*****

Their plane had landed an hour ago but they were all still at the airport waiting for Dan and Matt’s plane to land since they couldn’t all fit in Andrew’s Maserati – how a college student could afford a car that expensive was beyond her.

She was observing the people coming and going through the airport when she spotted a tall man with spiked hair approaching her group with a huge grin, a beautiful woman with dark skin in tow.

The man immediately pulled Neil into a hug “I’ve missed you little buddy!”

Her brother smiled warmly at him “It’s only been a week Matt.” He then waved at the woman “Hey, Dan!”

The pair was then greeted by the others with much less warmth – except for Nicky who seemed genuinely happy to see them.

They then stopped in front of Marion and smiled at her. “You must be Marion. I’m Dan and this big oaf is my boyfriend Matt. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you guys; it’s nice to finally meet you for real.” Marion smiled back at them because it was the truth. Neil hadn’t told her about their lives or back stories but he had told her a lot about his friendship with them. He’d told her Matt was his best friend and Dan was a great captain, she was strong and smart and kind.

“I wish we’d heard about you sooner. But you know Neil, always so secretive...” Matt sighed

Marion didn’t answer, not wanting to sour the mood with an answer like _‘It was beaten into him’_ or _‘It kept him alive for eight years’._

“So, am I riding to Palmetto with you or are you taking one of the guys? I’m fine either way.” She asked instead.

Matt grimaced a bit at the thought of driving one of the ‘Monsters’ around. It was decided they would take on Marion. Neil sent her a searching look, wanting to make sure she was really okay with this. She reassured him with a smile. Dan and Matt seemed friendly enough and their presence didn’t make her itch for the knives safely hidden in her duffel bag. Her brother gave her a nod before setting off after Andrew, the rest of the group following.

The short ride went over smoothly, Marion making small talk with the couple. She found she rather liked them if only for the fact they didn’t pry and ask her anything but surface questions even though she could tell curiosity was eating at them. They were also adorably in love.

Marion had mixed feelings about love. She was convinced it was nothing but a fairy tale the rest of the world was pointlessly chasing after but she also wished to have it. She’d always known she’d never have anything like it but that didn’t stop her. The closest she could come to the world-shattering feeling described in the novels she read was how she felt about Neil but that was a different kind of love.

*****

After half an hour of easy conversation they pulled into the parking lot of Fox Tower and got out of the car, grabbing their bags and suitcases from the trunk.

Marion noticed Andrew’s car parked nearby but caught no sight of its occupants. She assumed they were already upstairs.

She hesitated for only a second before pushing the doors of the building, Matt and Dan on her heels. The lobby was empty save for a few athletes chatting in a corner who paid them no attention. She hung back a bit, letting her companions take the lead.

The elevator was mercifully empty and lifted them up to third floor. Again Marion hesitated before stepping out into the corridor, taking it all in.

This would be her home for the next few months.

“This is Neil, Andrew and Kevin’s dorm” Matt said, pointing at the first door to the right “Next to it is the girls, and yours now I suppose. The third one is my, Nicky’s and Aaron’s. On the other side are the new freshmen and the rest of the floor is empty. No one wants to be stuck with the Foxes as neighbours I guess”

Marion nodded in acknowledgment and started down the hallway, waiting in front of the door for Dan to catch up.

“Welcome home!” she said cheerfully, opening the door. She then gave her a tour of the suite, complete with a kitchen and living room area before giving her some time to unpack in the bedroom.

Marion made quick work of organizing her meagre belongings in the allotted drawers before rejoining her new roommate. “So, when are the other girls getting back?”

“Allison and Renee land tomorrow morning. Matt will pick them up. Which reminds me, the team –sans freshmen that is – will be having lunch at Abby’s. You’re invited too of course.”

“Sounds good.” Marion said with a small smile.

She fondly recalled Neil telling her Abby was the team nurse. She was reassured to hear she would be alone with Dan tonight. Meeting two new Foxes was enough for one day without having to get used to sharing a living space with a group of girls who were already friends. At least it would be more progressive this way. _‘Like boiling a frog alive by increasing the temperature of the water degree by degree’_ she mused.

*****

Marion didn’t get to meet her new roommates before lunch at Abby Winfield’s house the next day. She’d thought this would be a celebratory meal for the end of the holidays the Fox family hadn’t spent together. She had been wrong. This was meet-the-newest-addition-of-the-family kinda meal.

As soon as she got out of the Matt’s truck – he’d dropped Renee and Allison off at the house before coming back to Fox Tower to pick Dan and Marion up and deposit the girls’ suitcases in their room – and entered the house she made a beeline to where Andrew and Neil were standing, the latter discussing with the team nurse and David Wymack.

Neil beamed when he saw her and made the introductions.

“Nice to meet you kiddo.” The older man said in a gruff voice. He made Marion wary. He was old enough to be her father which made her reflexively calculate the length of his arms so she could stand just outside of his reach.

“We’re very glad you decided to join us here in Palmetto” Abby said with a warm smile.

Marion focused on her to avoid the bone deep fear she could feel rearing its ugly head inside her chest but made sure to keep an eye on the coach in her peripheral vision. “Thank you so much for welcoming me here. I’m very grateful for this chance.”

The gratitude sounded fake to her hears. It really was genuine though. It was simply hard for her to accept that _they_ were too. That they wouldn’t stab her in the back or sell her out given the chance. She rationally knew they wouldn’t, considering they had been loyal to Neil through all the shit that happened the previous year and Wymack was Kevin’s father. The self destructive part of her mind wouldn’t stop spinning all the horrible consequences that her presence in South Carolina could have though.

Marion was then introduced to Renee and Allison.

Allison Reynolds looked exactly what you’d expect from a trust fund princess who decided to say _‘fuck you’_ to her rich parents and joined the Palmetto State Foxes. She was tall and blonde and had expensive tastes. She was also the kind of gorgeous girl Marion couldn’t help but find attractive but avoided like the plague. Allison was loud and proud and attracted attention like she was born to shine under the spotlights.

Renee Walker was a walking contradiction. She looked nice and sweet like the perfect Catholic girl she probably was with her modest – but elegant – outfit and the delicate silver cross hanging around her neck. Yet her hair was bleached almost white with the tips dyed in pastel rainbow. Her smile was so very sweet and genuine but there was something darker in her eyes, Marion thought, something sharp and deadly. It was barely there, carefully hidden and buried. But to Marion it was plain as day. She had spent most of her life trying to hide similar shadows. She could see what Andrew and Neil saw in her. It was a sense of... kinship.

Renee must have recognized it too because she nodded at Marion in acknowledgement. Marion nodded back. It would be easy to cohabitate with her. Allison might prove more of an issue but she could figure it out.

*****

Neil could tell the upperclassmen’s scrutiny made Marion uneasy. He remembered feeling the same when he’d arrived at Palmetto, over a year ago now. The fear of being unravelled and found out had plagued him. But where he had hunched his shoulders and made himself as small as possible – when he wasn’t running his mouth at least – his sister stood her ground. She was all sharp smiles and hidden blades and he was so damn proud of her. Because her jagged edges were exactly what allowed her to fit in and fall into easy conversation with all of them. She met each of Fox with equal strength whether it was to tell Kevin and Aaron off or smiling and kind to Renee, Matt and Dan.

By the end of the meal it seemed like she’d always been there. He had no idea how she managed to be so adaptable. The Foxes hadn’t known what to do with her at first, obviously expecting another ghost of a person like Neil had been. Marion was the exact opposite. There was a gravity to her that made you look at her unconsciously. She wasn’t even doing it on purpose; it was just natural, something their mother had tried to beat out of her. It had worked for a while. The fact Marion despised most people helped. It’s harder to attract attention when you don’t talk and avoid people’s eyes. But the Foxes weren’t most people. And so they had drawn out who his sister was at her core, coaxed out the light she shone on those around her.

When he’d lost her it had felt like the sky had been robbed of its stars. During the years apart Neil had forgotten what a starry sky was supposed to look like. When he’d found her again the stars hadn’t come back – not all of them at least, not all at once. They had reappeared one by one and now the night sky shone brighter than ever.

Neil felt warm and light, like he could just float up into space, at the sight of his family, his Foxes, Andrew, Marion; together, safe.

He would never let this go. Not in a thousand years. He would hold on and he would stay. He had stopped running a year ago but this was more definitive. This was planting roots, having a home to come back to, no matter what. Something worth fighting for. Something worth dying for if it ever came to it. And he would; a thousand times over.

Just as this thought crossed his mind two sets of eyes bore into his own; one honey gold, the other an icy blue and Neil felt whole for the first time in his life. Like all the pieces of his battered soul had finally been put back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I'm proud to announce this is the end of 'Razor sharp smile and icy blue eyes'. Honestly this feels like an accomplishment because I went into this fic with absolutely no idea what I was doing (technically I still don't) and I wasn't sure I'd have the motivation tofollow it through to the end (especially since I had no planned ending. I'm telling I wasn't going anywhere with this) but I did it so yeah I'm kinda proud.
> 
> Thank to everyone who read this, gave kudos or commented; it feels very validating to see that people have read and enjoyed what I wrote. Thank you so much.
> 
> This isn't the end of Marion's story though. I plan to make this a series and I think I'll write some more about her life in Palmetto with the Foxes. There'll probably be a few one shots and maybe even another multi-chaptered fic. So look out for that. I have no idea when that would come though. I need 1) ideas and 2) motivation and unfortunately I rarely have both of those on hand at the same time. But who knows?


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